Monthly Archive:: July 2015


Sometimes I see a really great photo of someone, the wind is in their hair, the lighting perfect, stoic chin that matches their stoic nature, or beautiful smile that matches their charm… and say to myself, “That’s the one they’ll use at your funeral!” But I stop myself from telling them that, because they might […]

I’m F**kin’ Over It: Avocados

I can already hear your offense from a mile away. “But John! OMG AVOCADOS ARE AMAZING! CALIFORNIA BAJA FRESH EXTREME WRAPS!! CHIPS AND DIP! FACERUBS! ORGANIC FREE RANGE BUTTPLUGS! I get it. Avocados can be great. Taylor Swift is great, but people break up with her all the time. Sometimes it just ain’t working out. So […]